A Third Space

In her book Gender Outlaw, Kate Bornstein describes the need for a "third space." A place where one can be open, honest, and out. It is important to be out and creating visibility. This is my third space. Hopefully, as tolerance grows, as the government sheds it's skin, my third space will expand until the concept is no longer applicable.

Hi, I'm Kati. Since I can remember being aware of gender, and my gender in particular, I have known I am not a girl. Sure, I was always a tomboy, always a feminist. I tried on a lot of costumes over the years looking for where I fit in the binary of female/male, gay/straight. As I made my way, I always came back to the same thoughts. "I am not a girl." "I do not belong with these women." "I am probably a gay man." "I am other."

Other. In, but not of. Neither here, nor there. A perineum. I am a taint. That is a dark, uncharted landscape for anyone growing up in the days before "gender fluid" and "non-binary" were part of the popular lexicon. Kate Bornstein also writes in Gender Outlaw, "I know I'm not a man -- about that much I'm very clear, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not a woman either, at least not according to a lot of people's rules on this sort of thing. The trouble is, we're living in a world that insists we be one or the other -- a world that doesn't bother to tell us exactly what one or the other is."

In this blog and website I intend to map this neither-world, mark landmarks, get lost, and get out. And eventually figure out how the landscape matches up with the map I'm making. I hope you will hang on my every word, engage in a dialog, ask questions, offer your own map as a reference, etc. Seriously, I just came out and it's all I want to talk about. 

I would also like to mention that the proceeds from sales on this site are going into my Top Surgery Piggy Bank! If I get a new chest, you should get a new shirt. Once my surgery is paid for a portion of the proceeds will then go to SisTers PGH, "a transgender/non-binary centered shelter transitioning program based in Pittsburgh, PA." If you can only make one financial contribution, consider donating to them, The work they are doing is invaluable.